


Estranged

by pessoa



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Canon, Slow Burn, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22220035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pessoa/pseuds/pessoa
Summary: It’s been two years since Allura’s death. The Paladins reconnect with one another at her memorial but for some reason Keith is distancing himself.
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 42
Kudos: 144





	1. Two Years On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been two years since Allura’s death. The Paladins reconnect with one another at her memorial but for some reason Keith is distancing himself.

  
_"When you’re talking to yourself,  
And nobody’s home  
You can fool yourself  
You came in this world alone"_  


Peace. It was something they all fought so hard for, and now finally had.

The residents of Altea, Griezian Sur, Krell, Earth and hundreds of other planets were able to rest easy at night in the peace of the last two years. And today was a day to celebrate that hard-fought win over the forces of Zarkon and Honerva with the strength of many fighters such as Voltron and ultimately by Allura’s mortal sacrifice.

Her memorial service is once again well-attended. Thousands gather at the tall and shining memorial statue in Allura’s image. There are many speeches honoring her memory, with several of the speakers gesturing to the statue as if speaking to her. Though there are messages of hope, there is still a sense of sadness at the great loss her death brought.

During the speeches, Keith tunes in and out of listening, distracted by his own memories and how they led him here. Being on Altea heightens the memory of Allura, almost as if she is part of the very air they were breathing. It’s a small comfort. Hopefully it feels that way to Lance too. Only when it’s finally Lance’s turn to speak does Keith turn his full attention to the podium. He is far enough away that he can look at Lance without feeling self-conscious about it.

He never knows exactly what he expects to see. A little time has passed that Lance doesn’t look like the complete wreck he had been for a full year after Allura’s death. But he still doesn’t quite feel like the Lance of old. Keith is concentrating so hard on viewing him that he almost forgets to listen to what he is saying also. Lance is talking about keeping Allura’s memory alive. It’s a fairly short speech. Strange to live in a world now where Lance doesn’t seek the limelight on a stage and want to talk for hours on end. It saddens Keith a bit. He has to look away.

After the final speech, half the large crowd disperses while the rest stick around to mingle. Prior to arriving on Altea, the Paladins agreed to dinner at the partially-finished new Castle of Lions for catching up properly together after the memorial. Though they keep in contact remotely, it is nothing like seeing each other in person. Long, drawn-out hugs are given and drinks are passed around once they are seated at the long dinner table. Keith makes a point to sit as far from Lance as possible.

It’s confusing. During the year and a half after Allura’s death, Keith had been a ready ear to listen and help Lance with his grief. But recently, he’s decided to pull away. Lance is sort of seeming more like himself and of course Lance’s family and the other Paladins are around to help Lance too. Keith had been there as a friend when he needed him the most during their shared moment of grief but lately… lately Keith doesn’t know how to be around him. And it bothers him. So he mostly keeps his distance.

But being here with everyone else is a good distraction. Hunk regales them with many stories of his new culinary exploits on various planets and how he is planning to open an institute that would tutor a new generation of chefs and peacemakers. Pidge and her brother Matthew take turns describing the latest tech they are working on. The entire Holt family are at the forefront of new robotic technologies that make headlines across each solar system. What is even greater is how they eagerly share their open source code, providing technological access to underserved nations. Keith is in awe of their work and the impact it brings.

They go around the table. Lance explains how not only is he keeping busy on the family farm but how he is also teaching sustainable farming to nearby communities. Matthew, Pidge and Hunk retell some of their stories of when they visited Lance a couple of times throughout the year. Shiro and Curtis are keeping busy with volunteer work and touring various parts of the galaxy. Keith's work with the relief organization means he is often too busy and far away to visit all of them but Pidge and Hunk did make it out to visit him on a couple of occasions.

The night grows late and more than a few yawns are heard around the table, especially from those who traveled the farthest. Plans are hashed out of what to do tomorrow, some arguing for food tours, while others talk of hiking. But whatever they would do is superfluous to the fact that they would be doing it together. All of the Paladins are staying several days. Well, except for Keith, but none of them know that yet.

They bid their good nights and head their separate ways. Keith walks to his room, sits on the bed and stares at the bag that is still stationed near the door. The plan had been to spend a week with the rest of the Paladins. But just the thought of being near Lance… bothers him? Scares him? He can’t explain it. A good hour and a half go by at which point he thinks everyone else has finally gone to sleep. He feels bad wanting to sneak off like this. But being around Lance for the next few days would make him feel so much worse.

_Why?_

He knows why, he just doesn’t want to admit it to himself. It is an old feeling buried so deep down, he thought he had shut it off for good. He’d buried it back when Lance and Allura started dating. That was when he knew that the feelings he had for Lance would never be requited. How stupid of him to even think that was a possibility anyway.

Keith writes a note with an excuse and leaves it at his nightstand. He gathers his belongings before slowly stepping out into the hall. He feels bad about not saying goodbye but he knows the others would understand if he had to leave because of his position within the relief organization. He walks down the main foyer and opens the door at the west entrance, in the direction of his space vehicle.

“Keith.”

Keith flinches and turns, looking into the darkness before seeing the figure of Coran emerge from the shadows. How did he not notice someone following him to the entrance door? His distracted thoughts are becoming a liability. “Coran, I'm so sorry. I had an emergency call back and I-”

Coran nods and smiles, with a hint of sadness. “I understand Keith,” he says. But the way he says it, Keith can tell he is willing to believe his lie for both of their sakes. “I trust I will see you next year, if not sooner?”

“Definitely,” Keith replies.

Coran doesn’t move. Keith feels guilty but can’t let on about the real reason why he’s leaving early. “Um, thanks again for hosting me. I, uh, guess I’ll be on my -”

Before he can finish his sentence, Coran wraps Keith in a bear hug. “Please visit sooner. I know you are busy and the relief work takes you farther away from all of us but sometimes it’s good to make time for the people we miss, yeah?”

“Yeah…” Keith says. He pats Coran on the back and when he pulls away gives him a half-smile.

It’s dark but Keith thinks he sees tears in Coran’s eyes. “Next year this Castle will finally be finished. I’m looking forward to seeing you back here!”

Keith nods and waves. He heads out to his ship, sits in the pilot seat and takes off. The Castle of Lions recedes before him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Haha, I can't believe it's been 3 years since I've posted anything to this site! :v~~
> 
> Anyway, I had the germ for this idea almost immediately after VLD season 8 ended, but didn't take the time to write it until now. I didn’t hate that season but I did feel like something was unfinished. So, in keeping with the canon, I thought about what would come after. This chapter is very short but the rest is pretty long! It will be very angsty, I hope you stick around for the rest of it!


	2. Three Years On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Paladins reunite once again. This time, a late night mock-combat session occurs and feelings resurface.

_"Young at heart  
but it's getting much too late  
To find ourselves so far apart"_

The new Castle of Lions shines brightly as Keith’s ship sails closer and descends to the dock assigned over his comms device. When he gets out, he makes a mental note of the other ships that are already here. Looks like Shiro and Curtis have arrived. Well, at least during this year’s service, which was to be solely music from orchestras and various choirs, he wouldn’t have to speak to Shiro directly right away.

They had gotten into an argument four months prior. Well, it was more of a _talk_ than an actual argument, but the memory of it still stung these months later.

Shiro had surprised Keith with an actual in-person visit on the planet where Keith was newly relocated to. He was out visiting unfamiliar cities and after a long day of exploring he came back to his apartment to see Shiro sitting outside his door, waiting patiently.

“Shiro?” Keith asked, almost in disbelief. “Where’s Curtis? Is everything okay?”

“He’s fine. He’s back at home watching Smith and Benny. Who you’ve yet to meet by the way,” he said accusingly. Shiro often sent photos to Keith of his two dogs and Keith always responded with how he would love to meet them one day.

“Um, when did you get here?” Keith asked to change the subject.

“Mmm, not long,” Shiro shrugged. It indicated to Keith that he may have been waiting practically hours. How could Keith forget his manners? He promptly invited him inside. After small talk and preparing dinner (well, mostly watching Shiro prepare dinner) they had a nice meal together. But the silence felt unbearable. Keith finally said, “Okay, what is it Shiro? You obviously have something on your mind.”

Shiro half-smiled at how Keith could still read him so well all these years later even though they weren’t in constant contact with each other. Shiro said, “So when are you going to visit him?”

The him in question was obvious but it irked Keith that Shiro hadn’t said it outright, instead pushing that responsibility squarely to Keith.

“I see him every year! At the service.”

“That’s not what I mean. And you know that’s not the same.” The disappointment in Shiro’s eyes shamed Keith. He looked down at his lap, avoiding his glance. He doesn’t know what to say. It’s more complicated than he can describe so he resorted to his old bluntness and masking of actual feelings.

“Please, Shiro. It’s not like if I show up at his doorstep he’s gonna jump for joy. It really doesn’t make a difference.”

“Really, Keith? I expected better of you.” Shiro’s tone forced Keith to look up. “You were one of his closest friends, if not _the closest_ , and yet you can’t bring yourself to visit him these days? Why would you act this way? I just want an honest answer.”

Keith wasn’t ready for this conversation. It was time to deflect. “Look, we write to each other every few months. I _do_ call to check on him sometimes. You’re acting like I ghosted him or something.”

“Oh, you guys write and call? Tell me, how long are those conversations? Can you tell me about Sandy?”

“S..Sandy?” Keith looked slightly disturbed. Shit, he should have known Lance would eventually start dating again but this takes him by surprise.

“Keith, Sandy is the farm he bought next to his for the expansion.”

It would be funny if Shiro didn’t have the look on his face that said _you absolutely know nothing about what he is up to, what kind of friend are you_.

“Keith, you even used to visit the other Paladins a couple of times a year but now those visits have gotten less frequent too and for some reason you seem to change addresses every few months. It’s almost like you don’t want to be found.”

“Look, I’ve been busy and-”

Shiro put a hand out. “Stop. I don’t want to hear any more excuses. We make time for the people that matter to us.”

Keith frowned. He remembered hearing the same thing from Coran a year ago. In his head he had even thought he’d take that to heart but he never went through with any of his plans to do so. At the time he told Shiro that he would try to do better and eventually they moved on to another topic. But he hadn’t followed through and now he wasn’t sure what Shiro would say to him when he saw him. In fact, it would probably be worse if Shiro didn’t say anything about it, just silently acknowledging that Keith is an awful person.

When Shiro and Curtis greet him back at the gathering in the Castle of Lions, Keith doesn’t get the sense that Shiro hates him. That’s good at least. Everyone talks about what they have been up to and Keith listens to all their stories. Is it him or is there more laughter than there previously was at their gatherings? It’s new… and nice.

After dinner, they play a strategy board game which Hunk and Pidge both take waaay too seriously. Curtis ends up winning, prompting Pidge to immediately shout for a rematch. They laugh and are treated to a nice dessert that Coran had whipped up for them (based on a recipe by Hunk). With full bellies and after a full day of ceremony they all head to their rooms. Keith notices that he and Lance are walking in the same direction. Did they have rooms near each other last year? Then Keith remembers that last time he’d arrived too late and left too early to have noticed. Stupidly, he finds himself asking, “Is your room this way too?”

“No, I thought I’d go to your room and stare at you as you sleep.”

Keith looks at Lance. Lance is straight-faced. Is Lance… joking?

Lance’s face finally breaks into a half-smile. “I’m joking, Keith. We’ve had rooms next to each other every year for Allura’s memorial service. You really didn’t notice?”

“No, I knew that,” Keith answers unconvincingly, his face reddening.

“Hey, are you going straight to sleep?”

“Yes, I guess? I mean, it’s been a long day.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Lance says, his tone almost wistful.

“Unless… maybe you wanted to, like, do something?”

“I just feel like that dessert cake from Coran gave me a sugar high. I’m not ready to go to sleep but I don’t know what else to do.”

“Have you been to the new training room in the East Wing? Coran said they’re still running some tests on it but…”

“Race you there! On your mark, get set-”

Before Lance can finish his countdown Keith takes off and he hears Lance shouting that he’s a cheater, but also... half-laughing? It brings a smile to Keith's face, knowing he can make his friend laugh again. It's also nice to know that he will beat him easily. Keith runs every day for at least several miles, this is nothing to him.

Keith arrives at the training room door first and Lance comes in a distant second, breathing hard. “Not fair!,” Lance pants out. “Because a) you started before I said go, b) I ate more cake than you and c) I don’t still train like you probably do every day.”

“You know what they say. _Stay_ prepared so you don’t have to _get_ prepared.” Keith smirks, walking backward into the training room to see Lance’s expression. Lance follows, asking, “Who the hell says _that_ besides you?”

Before they can begin a good bickering session they are hushed by the state-of-the-art facility they’re in. Keith knew the previous training room was high-tech, but this was a whole other level. There are screens indicating maps of various immersive VR training rooms as well as the largest weapons cache he’s ever seen outside of a war camp. They immediately go to the weapons and start playing with some, not even knowing their proper names.

“What does this one do?” Lance asks, playing with something that looks like a high-tech dumbbell. He presses a button and a long laser flashes out and almost reaches one of Keith’s eyes.

“Jesus, watch where you point that thing!”

“Oh man, this is so cool! This is totally a lightsaber, how could it not be?”

Keith picks up a metallic sword that glows with a similar light along its length. He smiles mischievously and takes a fighting stance. “Come on, then, let’s go!”

Their weapons clash and whir as they bound about the room. Lance’s skills are no match for Keith who has never stopped combat training even though they are in a time of peace. But he takes it easy on Lance and fights him long enough to see him get nice and sweaty before he will deliver the deciding blow.

Lance is cornered and in a vulnerable position with Keith’s sword pressing stronger and stronger against Lance’s saber. “Damn, ‘stay prepared’, huh?” Lance’s voice is low and smooth. “It looks good on you.” He winks at Keith.

It completely catches Keith off guard. In one deft move, Lance kicks Keith’s leg out from under him, toppling him. The door to the room opens at that moment.

“Haha yes!!! We have a witness to see this moment where I defeat Keith!” Lance raises his arms in victory over an uncomprehending Keith ungracefully getting up from the floor.

“Sweet quiznak, put those things down right now!” Coran shouts as he walks toward them. “Some of those are prototypes, who knows what would have happened if they misfired!”

“Yeah, but you did see that I defeated Keith, right?”

“He did not! It was a cheap trick, I wasn’t-”

“Enough, both of you,” Coran scolds, but with a twinkle in his eye. “This training room is off limits for the rest of the night. You’ll have to find some other room to exert your strenuous physical activities.”

Is Keith detecting some kind of innuendo from Coran? Before Keith can protest, Lance pats Coran on the back and salutes him. “Remember Coran, you are witness to my victory. This is _the only thing_ we’ll talk about at the breakfast table tomorrow. Good night and sweet dreams!” Lance backs out of the room, waving like he’s at a victory parade and Keith turns to Coran to defend himself.

“He really did NOT beat me, I was barely fighting at like a 12% effort level against him when he-”

“Tut, tut Keith,” Coran says, his mustache twitching delightedly. “No one likes a sore loser.”

“No! I did _not_ lose. We’ll rematch tomorrow, you’ll see! I’ll defeat him in a nanosecond!”

“Good night, Keith!” Coran says, ushering him out to the empty hallway. Keith is about to protest some more but the door seals shut in his face. Damn it.

Keith goes to his room and thinks about Lance directly next door. Lance had already said good night. God, more than anything he wishes he had the courage to go to Lance’s room and … do what exactly? Continue their mock-battle? Talk? Whatever… he just wants to be near him. The old familiar ache in his heart stirs. He thought he was over this. Lance is almost like the Lance of old, before A... No, he couldn’t think this way. It was dishonorable to Allura’s memory, and on the day of her memorial too. He lays on his bed, letting his heartache prevent him from sleeping but also thinking that something had changed between them. For the better. Well at least when he sees Shiro the next morning, he won’t be disappointed in Keith anymore for not talking to Lance.


	3. Three Years And Three Months On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith makes a surprise visit to Earth to see Lance. But what he finds there ends up surprising _him_.

_"How could you say that I never needed you  
When you took everything  
Said you took everything from me"_

The weeks that passed since their impromptu late-night combat session (god, that made it sound more suggestive than it was) were horrible for Keith. Lance was friendly and humorous in the messages he sent, but Keith never knew what to say or how to respond. It all used to be enough: to laugh over the same things, to banter, to debate … to just go back and forth endlessly over everything and nothing.

It all used to be enough. And then one day, something inside Keith changes. He can’t continue like this. He needs to see Lance, be near him and… well, he wasn’t sure _what_ , but he just had to go. So, on complete impulse, Keith decides to visit Earth and see him.

He could use the excuse that he would be there to see other cities too, but really, all he wanted was to be with Lance again. Plus, he was overdue for a visit to Earth. So really, this was more like a diplomatic obligation. He considers telling Lance ahead of time but instead decides to just go one day only two months after the memorial. It would take almost a month to travel to Earth. Would the springtime there be harvest or planting season or something else? Keith knows nothing about farming and crops. Oh well, he will find out. He inputs Lance’s farm address into the terminal of his ship and flies off.

It is a long distance from where he is living. He makes several pit-stops along the way, mostly at space stations, before continuing to Earth. As he breaks into the atmosphere, feelings of nostalgia rush back. Maybe he will visit his old hometown too. It’s been years since he’s visited. Gosh, _years_. Strange to think that way.

His ship glides over the rich and verdant landscape, giving him a great aerial view of the acres and acres of farming land. He lets the onboard terminal chart their course slower and lower to the destination. All these farms look exactly the same to him. The ship lands almost a half-mile away from the coordinates, in hopes that Lance or his family won't see it arrive. The ship is fairly silent and not that large. Keith hopes to surprise him. He steps off the ship and trods over a gravel path in the direction of the farmhouse. It is so quiet and uneventful here. Is this really where Lance is happiest?

Keith tries the door first. If he doesn’t answer quickly, he will begin searching for him on the land. A good thirty seconds pass before he knocks again, very hard. How much land does Lance and his family own anyway? Would he be better off looking for him on foot or waiting at the doorstep for him to come back? The sun is due to set in less than an hour. Wait, what if Lance isn’t even home, what if he went out to visit Hunk over in the NGC 4151 Galaxy? God, why didn’t Keith call ahead? This was such a stupid, impulsive move. He is about to turn back when the door flings open and a young woman with a bandanna over her long curly hair greets him. “Hi! Can I help you with something?”

Keith has never seen her before. She doesn’t exactly look like family either. “Um, I might have the wrong address. I’m so sorry.” He is about to check his comms device when he hears a distant but familiar voice in the house shout, “Oh my god, is that… KEITH?!?”

Pidge! She runs over to Keith and practically launches herself into his arms. He laughs despite himself. “Lance didn’t tell me you were visiting too! Holy crap! This is crazy! He says you never visit. He’s out back, come on!”

The woman with the bandanna smiles widely and extends her hand to Keith. “I guess this isn’t the wrong address after all! I’ve heard good things about you from Lance, it’s so great to finally meet you! I’m Prarthana.”

“Keith,” he responds, shaking her hand. Before he can say anything else to her, Pidge pulls on his other arm and takes him to the backyard area where they instantly board a hover-cart. She explains that her brother Matthew installed a new irrigation system to the farm last year. Pidge is checking up on it and hopes to add more improvements to Lance’s sustainable farm. She rattles on about all kinds of tech and he doesn’t understand any of it. Less than a few minutes later they are right near Lance who is loading a bushel of something leafy and green to a cart when he sees Keith and drops it straight to the floor in shock. “ _Keith?_ I don’t believe it!”

Keith jumps off the hover-cart and Lance pulls him in for a strong hug. Keith doesn’t want to let go but he doesn’t want to make things awkward right away, especially with Pidge watching a mere few feet away. He cuts the hug short but feels it was worth coming all this distance just to feel Lance's warm skin against his own. They board the hover-cart which Lance teases Pidge about, saying she uses it for the shortest distances. “Are you kidding? Walking is so outdated,” she says in return. Lance turns his full attention to Keith. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I would have prepared better! This place has changed so much since your last visit. I need to give you the grand tour again! Most of my family is working on the Sandy Farm right now. Oh wait, did you meet Prarthana?”

“Yeah, she answered the door. At first I thought I went to the wrong place.”

“Ha ha, no way!” Lance says scratching at the back of his neck like he usually does when he’s embarrassed or nervous. “I should have told you about her when I saw you at the Castle last time. But it was still really new then. Actually it still feels a bit new. Let’s pick her up first.”

Confusion sets in on Keith’s face. He awaits Lance’s explanation but once they deboard the hover-cart at the back porch, Prarthana walks over and greets Lance with a quick kiss on the lips. “Babe, I served you and your guests the last of the lemonade you made. You’re gonna have to make more a.s.a.p.”

“Well, if _someone_ had told me he was coming AHEAD of time, I would have had a whole barrel of it ready beforehand,” Lance admonishes playfully in Keith’s direction. “Pidge keeps trying to tell me to sell this locally but on top of everything else? There’s no good sustainable bottling materials.”

“Are you joking?” Pidge says offended. “We’ve been using hyperthermarol on Olkaria for like years now! God, I forget how backwards this place is. Keith, as part of your relief organization work you should really give Earth more of your attention.”

Keith forces a smile. He is making his best impression of a human being right now. Because it’s taking everything he has not to make some bullshit excuse and run back to his ship and take off back to his planet and never come back. _This_ is the reason he is not a surprise-visit person.

Never. Again.

They finish their drinks and the four of them go on a larger craft for Lance’s grand tour. Keith is glad that the rest do most of the talking while he observes the landscape and vegetation and machinery they pass by. Every time Prarthana addresses Lance as ‘ _babe_ ’, it takes every cell in his body not to outwardly cringe. When did this start? Is she the first after Allura? Why wouldn’t the others tell him about her? Why did he have to find out this way?

All these questions feel caught in his throat. When they return to the farmhouse, some of Lance’s other family members are there and they greet him warmly. He finds he misses them too and they provide a temporary distraction to how he is really feeling. A huge dinner is served for them all. It smells delicious but all Keith wants to do is leave. To his anguish, they insist on seating him right next to Lance and Prarthana. The saving grace is that Lance’s family is known for being as boisterous and loud as Lance, so mostly Keith listens as he forces himself to eat. He realizes that Lance just asked him something but he wasn’t listening. “Sorry, what?”

Lance laughs. “Must be the shiplag catching up with you! I asked how long you’re planning on staying? We’ve got to make some serious plans. Hey, did you visit your hometown yet? Oh man, I hope you’re around for at least a month! Better yet, you should just move in!”

Lance’s family chimes in on how Keith would love the farm life. Keith obliges their good humor but explains that he has a lot of work to get back to with the relief organization. Just when Keith thinks dinner is finished, a cousin brings out homemade pies and the minutes seem like hours to him. Finally, once the plates are cleared out, Lance suggests a card game. But Pidge says, “Actually, I really want to show Keith the Flexometer 5000 that I brought along! We’ve been talking about it for months, is it ok if I show him now?”

Lance and Prarthana smile in agreement, knowing how excited Pidge gets to show off all her gadgets. “Great! Come on Keith, let’s go!” Pidge grabs Keith’s arm and leads him to her ship parked significantly closer to the farmhouse than Keith’s.

Once inside, Keith asks in a monotone, “What the fuck is a flexometer.”

“I made it up, idiot. I had to, you looked like you wanted to murder all of us. Hell, I think I’m risking my own life right now being alone with you. Um, so … I gather you didn’t know?”

“Know what?” Keith asks cross-armed, purposely wanting it spelled out to him. If he is going to get his heart broken he wants to have every last detail kill him.

Pidge sighs. “I thought Lance would tell you. Shiro was saying you two were getting better at talking to each other. I didn’t know.”

“Tell me _what_.”

Pidge frowns. “The obvious, of course. Lance and Prarthana are dating. It’s been a couple of months, still kind of new-ish I guess. Maybe that’s why he didn’t tell you?”

“Yet he told you? And presumably Shiro and Hunk and Cor…”

“Oh no, he hasn’t told Coran yet. God, _he_ might actually kill her. I mean, not that Prarthana isn’t nice, just that it’s weird. You know, that it’s not Allura. I don’t know. But I guess humans need to move on eventually or something?”

Keith closes his eyes, willing himself to just teleport back to his planet.

Pidge bites her lower lip, seeing how frustrated Keith is. “Um, if it’s any consolation I don’t think they’ll last. I’ve been here a week and it’s obvious she likes him more than he likes her. I give them a year. Actually, I should put the data in my new statistics program to get a more accurate time frame.” She paces around her ship, ready to fire up a computer terminal but then looks back at Keith. “Uh, none of this is helping right?” Keith’s angry silence answers the question for her.

“Look okay, sorry for not telling you. I guess no one wanted to be the bearer of bad news. But like, can I ask you something?”

Keith looks at her, his face no indicator of whether he’ll answer.

Pidge forges ahead, pushing her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. “Are you mad because she’s not Allura or are you mad because she’s not you?”

The question catches him so off guard that momentarily Keith’s mouth hangs open in surprise and a feeling of being exposed envelops him.

“Okay, fine you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. It’s really hard understanding you humans sometimes.”

“Pidge, that’s the second time you referred to humans like you aren’t one. If anything, that’s something I should be saying.”

Pidge shrugs, ignoring the fact he’s part-Galra. Keith sighs, mad at himself for having no control over his emotions when it comes to Lance. He shouldn’t be taking his frustration out on Pidge though, he knows that. “Pidge,” he starts, in a softer tone. “I think … I think it’s a bit of both. I know that doesn’t make sense but that’s how I feel right now. Sorry for snapping at you, I know it’s not your fault for not telling me.”

Pidge nods. She knows from observation that relationships can cause major emotional distress. She’s so glad she doesn’t ever want to be in one. “Don’t worry about it. I just hope, like, you don’t stay too mad at him?”

Keith doesn’t know what to say. All he knows is that he’s tired and wants to be alone. “Hey, I’ll visit you over at the Olkarian planet sometime. I'm glad I got to see you again.” He pulls her into a hug before heading back out and straight to his ship. Pidge doesn't try to stop him, knowing that Keith won't change his mind about leaving no matter what she says.

He messages an excuse about an emergency relief call to Lance before shutting the device off. His ship flies higher and higher and away from Lance. He isn’t far from his hometown but he finds he’s done with the past. His ship leaves Earth’s orbit and goes out into the darkness of space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUGGHH, so much angst! I am so mad at all of them! Except Pidge, of course. She can do no wrong <3 Thanks for reading!


	4. Four Years On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance have a long, slightly tipsy conversation in the evening.

_"So nobody ever told us baby_  
_How it was gonna be_  
_So what’ll happen to us baby_  
_Guess we’ll have to wait and see"_

Keith is running late on his way to Altea in a new ship. New ship, new home, new jacket, new ex … the annual memorials seem to be the only constant in his life. He’s looking forward to seeing (almost) everyone again.

Directly after his surprise visit to Earth, he had considered not coming at all in order to avoid Lance and Prarthana. But a perverse part of him wants to see how everyone else will react to her, knowing how they all loved Allura. It would be nice to be amongst company who dislike Prarthana for the mere fact she exists. It’s cruel since she seemed fairly nice but jealousy has a way of bringing out the worst in people. But the good part of him does want to pay tribute to Allura by visiting Altea where her presence still feels strongest. Four years on and he still misses her so much. The initial pain of missing her has softened over the years but sometimes the fact of her being gone comes back like a knife to the chest.

The memorial is a little different this year. Lance is not on the program to make a speech (Keith thinks it’s because the crowd would stone him when they found out about Prarthana). The actual reason for Lance’s exclusion from the speaker’s list is due to the various dignitaries and politicians who have inserted themselves into the memorial program. Keith arrives in the middle of one of their long-winded speeches that barely has anything to do with Allura. They are mostly addressing the recent dissension and unrest among the ruling governments in several planets within Altea’s galaxy. Keith is kept up to date on these issues in case any actual war does break out. Some of the dignitaries pay tribute to Allura and the peace she brought but they also make political digs at their adversaries. Luckily, Keith is all the way in the back and walks away from the big audience without being noticed.

Beds of purple juniberry flowers are in full bloom along the outskirts of the memorial park. The smell is wonderful and intoxicating. Their color is strikingly similar to a scarf his ex constantly wore. God, his ex. That’s something he’d sooner wish to forget...

Shortly after leaving Earth during the disastrous visit to Lance and meeting his girlfriend Prarthana, Keith decided it was finally time to officially get over Lance. Instead of opting for the usual random hook-ups, he was going to actually date someone seriously. Be in a relationship with a capital R. The guy he’d chosen had a tangential position to the relief organization. Rumor was that he had a crush on Keith and without any effort at all on Keith’s part, they started dating. It was okay at first. After all, he was a nice, good-looking guy and it was convenient to have steady sex with someone. Maybe that was a harsh way of putting it, but not once did he ever see himself falling in love with the guy.

They lasted four months. The funny part was Keith hadn’t been the one to break it off. The ex told Keith he couldn’t continue in the relationship because Keith was “emotionally unavailable”. The phrase hung around Keith’s head for a while but instead of taking it for something he needed to work on, he wore it like a shield. The only person he talked to about the ex was Shiro, more to placate him and get him off his back about dating and connecting with new people. As if to say, _see I’m fine and totally don’t care about you all not telling me Lance has a girlfriend!_

Keith keeps walking. The blare of the loudspeakers lessens considerably by the time he reaches his docked ship. He sits in it for a while, killing time until the usual gathering at the Castle of Lions. He’s anxious about what he will say to Lance. They barely spoke after his visit. Or rather, Lance has contacted him but Keith has chosen not to answer, unwilling to put up a facade that everything is alright. He knows it is childish but he’s done pretending.

An hour passes, and he enters the reception room of the Castle of Lions. It looks vastly different from before. The grand meeting hall is extravagantly decorated to host the dignitaries. Various droids whir around, serving drinks and cocktails. A dress code was given in the official invite but Keith ignored it. His only intention is to meet with the non-Lance Paladins and then leave. He spots Shiro and Curtis on the other side of the room and is about to walk over, when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He quickly turns around and his face is inches from Lance’s.

“Hey, Keith! I didn’t see you at the memorial, I wasn’t even sure if you were coming.”

Lance actually did pay attention to the dress code. He is wearing a military-style double-breasted jacket in a navy blue. Almost like a prince. It stuns Keith for a minute before he remembers that he now dislikes him (again). “I was there. But I was a bit late so I didn’t get a chance to sit with the rest of the Paladins.”

“Good call. This year it was just politics. So uh, where’s your boyfriend?”

Keith is so stunned he can hardly speak. “ _My boyf-? Who said... ?_ I don’t have a boyfriend!”

“Oh. I thought…”

“Thought _what_?” If Keith’s glare was a laser, Lance would be dead right now.

“I guess I must have heard wrong through the rumor mill. It’s not easy keeping up with you, Keith. I mean, I know you’re busy but you never answered any of my calls and barely responded to my messages.”

Keith is not ready for this conversation. To quickly change the subject and hopefully meet up with the rest, he asks, “Where’s Prarthana?”

Lance winces, as if Keith were hurting him on purpose. “We broke up recently. She… she wasn’t the one for me.”

This is a shock. Keith had already planned his excuse to avoid their wedding and how he would interact with their future kids away from the parents. How does he respond to this? He feels relief at first but the look on Lance’s face makes Keith realize that he shouldn’t have thought of Prarthana so harshly. After all, she did make Lance happy for several months and isn’t that more than Keith has done recently, post-Allura? “I’m so sorry, Lance,” Keith finally says and is surprised he actually means it.

“It’s fine... I’ll be fine. I’m just glad that today I get to spend more time with everyone I miss.”

Keith nods in agreement. “Same here. I was just about to go over to Shiro and-” Keith turns back to where he had last seen Shiro and Curtis but they are gone. Strange. He looks around to see if he can spot Hunk and Pidge or Coran but they are nowhere to be seen.

Lance scans the room as well. “Yeah, I was just talking to Hunk and Shay before I came over to you. I wonder where they went…”

They walk around for a bit, receiving cocktails from the hovering droids. They give cursory small talk to some dignitaries while checking their comm units every other minute to see if the other Paladins have responded to their messages. Nothing. After half an hour, Lance says, “Wanna head out early? Maybe we can find them somewhere else.” Keith agrees. While he doesn’t exactly want to be alone in Lance’s company, he definitely doesn’t want to stay here with these boring politicians. As they walk toward the exit, Lance swipes a bottle from the drinks table and puts a finger to his lips. “Oh, PS: I also want to get totally wasted.”

“Well, one’s not gonna do it,” Keith says as he swipes a bottle too.

It’s dark outside. Some people are milling about near the front entrance, but none of them are the other Paladins. They walk farther and farther from the Castle. Lance chatters non-stop about his rough journey to Altea, namely his ship breaking down halfway through the trip. “... and so they tell me it will take 50,000 Krebstarian credits for repairs. I check the currency exchange on my comms device. It’s a LOT. I trick the guys that this old iPad I had on the ship is worth way more than it is. Man, I wish we could use the Lions to get around like we used to!”

“The Lions are not transport, Lance. They’re weapons of defense.”

“Yeah, I know. Still, I miss Blue.”

Keith can’t deny that the Lions of Voltron were really something special. Strange to believe how they were all so connected to each other back when Voltron was needed. He can’t say he misses the war but he does miss the camaraderie. He notices they’ve been walking steadily uphill on a grass-like plain for a while. “Um, maybe we should be heading back?”

Lance looks up ahead. “Oh, we’re close to the top of Vesper Hill!”

It’s hard to make out where the hilltop is in the darkness. The moonlight and stars are their only guides. “Vesper Hill?”

“You’ve never been to the top? It's got such a great view of the city!”

“Shouldn’t we be heading back to find the others?”

“Someone sounds too tired to walk uphill…”

“I never said that.”

“Whatsamatter, Keith? Skip leg day? Weak quads?”

“I know what you’re trying to do, but I really don’t care about-”

“Last one to the top has to chug at least half this bottle straight!”

“Lance, don’t...”, Keith can’t even finish his sentence before Lance takes off running. It’s hard to see very clearly and Keith finds himself tripping over unexpected rock formations in his attempt to keep up. _Damn that Lance_. Only when they get to the top and there is a grassy clearing does Keith run full-force but by that time Lance has gotten there before him.

“Ha, I win! Time for you to chug!”

Stupid! Why did he follow Lance and his little game? He doesn’t even want to be alone here with Lance. Still, the view actually is nice. Maybe that, and drinking some of this alcohol will help him tolerate his presence. “Fine,” Keith says and opens the bottle that he transported. He starts drinking but almost immediately stops and makes a face. “Oh my god, _what is this_?”

“I never took you for a lightweight, Keith.”

“I don’t even know if this is alcohol!”

“Ooh, let me try.”

“Drink from your own bottle,” Keith says, holding onto his possessively. They both have the same kind.

Lance smirks as he opens his. “I’m very disappointed, Keith. I think I recall your mom drinking an entire bottle of tequila at Shiro’s birthday celebration and she didn’t bat an eye. Watch this.” He takes the bottle to his lips and tips it back but stops almost immediately in a grand spit-take, some of it spraying Keith in the process.

“See, you idiot?” Keith says, wiping his face from the liquor. He’s surprised it doesn’t burn his skin.

“What is this, 100-proof?? I thought I stole some run-of-the-mill wine!” Lance tries to read the label on the bottle but can’t understand the writing. “Must be some special Altean liquor. Allura never told me about this stuff.”

Keith finds the smell of it to be not that bad. He takes another sip from his bottle and realizes he doesn’t dislike it as much as he thought. “You know what? I don’t think I hate this.”

“It needs a mixer.”

“Who’s the lightweight now?”

Lance makes a ‘hmph!’ sound before taking another swig. “Oh _god_. Yeah, that burns. We should steal more of these before we leave Altea.” He sits down on the grass. Keith doesn’t really want to sit down next to Lance but it would be too awkward to remain standing. He sits down, giving them at least 5 feet of space in between. Lance points out certain landmarks in the distance that Allura told him about. Keith finds himself captivated by it all. It should make him jealous but for some reason he likes learning more about their relationship.

The Altean drink is strong. He already feels a bit of a tingling sensation taking over his body. “See, look,” he says, lifting the bottle toward Lance. “Halfway done. I’ve done your stupid bet. Can we go back now?”

“Nope. I have to catch up with you. Can’t have you drinking alone.” He takes a swig and shivers. “Terrible! Do you think Coran drinks this stuff? Maybe that’s why he’s so crazy.”

“He’s definitely not the crazy one among us.”

“He wanted me to tell him all about Prarthana! I didn’t even know he knew. I wonder who told him? I thought he would be super-mad at me but instead he’s all ‘oh please don’t be afraid to introduce your next significant other to me’, et cetera et cetera. Isn’t that weird? Or do you think he was just saying it to be nice?”

“I dunno.”

Lance sighs. “Anyway, today’s memorial was so _not_ about Allura at all. Coran says he’s banning them all next year.”

“Good.”

“This would be so good with some pineapple juice,” Lance says offhand before taking a swig and lying down on the grass. “Wow, I think it’s starting to affect me. I don’t remember the stars being this bright before.”

Keith looks up at the sky. He, too, feels like they are shining brighter than before. And so many of them! He lays back to get a good panoramic view. It reminds him of when he was a child on Earth, looking up at the sky and wondering when he would get to explore space. Never did he think he would do it while in battle and losing a friend in the process.

“I miss Allura,” Keith says softly.

“Me too,” Lance replies.

“Sometimes I still can’t really believe it.”

“That she’s gone?”

“No, that she ever went out with a guy like you.”

“Huh?”

“Dude, she is waaay too good for you.”

Lance actually laughs. “Hey! I have my charms! What I can’t believe is that she once had a crush on _you_ at the very beginning!”

“No, she didn’t!” Keith says, reddening. The thought pleases him more than he’d like to admit.

“It’s true! She always denied it but I think that was just to make me feel better. Would you have gone out with her if she asked you? Like, even though you’re super gay?”

“What part of ‘super gay’ do you not understand?”

“Oops. Haha, yeah sorry. I forget not everyone’s like me.”

Keith snorts. Of course, he’s Lance ‘I am attracted to anything that moves’ McClain. Well, almost anything. Definitely not Keith. But now is not the time to be bitter about that. Still, this hill is the ideal for a romantic spot, a place for lovers to hold hands. Maybe it’s because it’s late or maybe it’s the Altean drink but Keith finds himself feeling contemplative and curious about Lance’s relationship with Allura. He asks Lance, “So... how do you know when you meet _the one_?”

Lance is quiet for a while. Keith is about to repeat the question, thinking he hasn’t heard him when Lance finally says, “It’s just a feeling that happens. You know it when you’re with the other person and it feels like you never want to be apart from them.”

It’s Keith’s turn to be quiet. Lance finally breaks the silence and says, “Are you asking because you’re wondering about the guy you dumped?

Keith wrinkles his nose. “What, _him_? No! And anyway _he_ dumped _me_.” Keith knows that he is now more than a little tipsy, otherwise why even admit this fact to Lance at all?

“Really? Do you know why exactly?”

Ah, to hell with it. What does it matter who knows now? “Because I was-” and he air-quotes while whining the words, “‘ _emotionally unavailable_ ’. Whatever. He was needy and not the right guy so I really don’t care.”

Lance laughs out loud. “But Keith, you totally are quote ‘ _emotionally unavailable_ ’! Or at least you never show how you really feel. Seriously, Pidge has created robots with more range of emotion than you.”

“Ugh, not you too,” groans Keith, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, here’s an idea. Maybe Pidge can create you a robot boyfriend who you can shut off when you don’t want him to be so ' _needy_ ',” Lance says air-quoting Keith.

“Are you really doing this right now? You don’t know a thing about the guy and you’re on _his_ side?”

“Yeah, duh. When am I ever on your side except for Voltron?”

Keith reaches over to hit him on the arm and Lance just laughs. “No, really though, was he at least as good-looking as me?”

“Lance, literally everyone is better looking than you.” Keith swigs from his bottle, hoping that the night is dark enough to hide his blushing.

“Now, _that’s_ a total lie. I thought drinking was supposed to bring out the honesty in people. What did he look like, do you have a pic on your comms unit? Even a dick pic will do, I guess.”

Keith can’t help but smirk. “God, you are a fucking _child_ sometimes, you know that? I don’t have any photos of him so you can stop asking.”

“Okay, so he wasn’t the one for you. What kind of guy are you gonna look for next? Like, what is your idea of the perfect boyfriend?”

“What is this, a pre-teen girls’ sleepover night? We’re not going there.”

“Oh come on! Humor me. Prove to me that you’re not Mr. _Emotionally Unavailable_. Let’s see the softer side of Keith tonight.”

Keith can’t stand this. He’s drank so much from his bottle that it’s almost gone. “Basically he would be the exact opposite of you in every single way. How’s that?”

“Hmm. Okay, so he would be short, ugly and have awful skin. Personality-wise, he would have practically no personality then I guess. So basically, you would have to date yourself.”

“Fine by me. I hear there’s a planet in Galaxy 3C279 where you can clone yourself.”

Lance cracks up. “Oh my god. I totally _one thousand percent_ would have sex with a clone of myself.”

“That doesn’t surprise me at all.”

“But I definitely couldn’t be in a relationship with myself. I kind of dig the whole opposites attract thing, you know?”

Keith lets the statement hang in the air. When did they move closer to each other? And how much time has passed? Where exactly are the other Paladins that they can’t contact them? Keith wonders if he should be worried when Lance takes him out of his thoughts by kicking his leg lightly.

“So tell me… and be honest. Have you ever been in love before?” Lance turns his face to Keith’s direction.

Tension overtakes Keith’s entire body. He’s not sober enough to lie right now. “Maybe… once.”

“Who was he?”

“Someone I was close to.”

“And not anymore?” Lance seems to say this with a hint of sadness in his voice.

“It’s not good to dwell on the past.” Keith tries to down the rest of his bottle but realizes it’s completely empty. Lance passes him his own, which is still half-full.

“Here, take the rest of mine. I guess I am more of a lightweight than you.”

Keith gladly takes it and drinks so he doesn’t have to talk. He realizes, like some foolish lovestruck teen, that his lips are exactly where Lance’s were. A poor consolation to an actual kiss. He imagines that he can taste him.

“Hey. You know I was kidding before, right Keith? I’m sure your ex was an asshole. You deserve better.”

Keith continues to stare at the sky, the alcohol making the stars spin a little.

“And you’re definitely not that short,” Lance adds.

“Nor am I ugly,” Keith protests with one sharp finger in the air.

“And your skin is not awful,” Lance says as he reaches a hand out to swiftly stroke Keith’s cheek. “I mean, it’s like goddamn porcelain or something. You and your fucking genes. I have to wear all kinds of face masks at night just to look this good.”

Keith swallows hard before he can speak. “You should ask for your money back.” God, more than anything, he wants Lance to touch him again.

“Ha, fucking ha.”

They remain quiet for a bit. Once again, it’s Lance who breaks the silence.

“So. Keith.”

The way he says this makes Keith nervous. He hopes his voice doesn’t betray him. “Lance,” he answers plainly.

“Were you… kind of mad at me? After your surprise visit to Earth?”

Keith closes his eyes, afraid of where this conversation will lead.

“You didn’t return my calls and your messages were a bit cold,” Lance continues.

Keith wants a meteor to come straight down and strike him dead.

“I mean, I get it though.”

Does he? What does Lance get? Wait, _does he know_? Did Pidge say something? He’ll kill her. He will absolutely murder her.

“I felt a lot of guilt about it. I know Prarthana’s not Allura. No one I ever date will be like her. In a way I don’t want to move on but it’s just … sometimes I get so lonely and… ,” Lance’s voice slightly cracks and he stops himself.

Oh god. First, Keith senses relief. Lance doesn’t know Keith’s true feelings. But now his heart breaks hearing Lance open himself up like this. What can he possibly say?

He clears his throat. “Hey man. I overreacted. I know you need to find someone else eventually. And … you deserve happiness more than anyone. I’m sorry I acted like a dick.” He’s thinking of what else to say when both their comms simultaneously vibrate and beep. There are messages from the group chat. It’s late and the other Paladins are checking to see if Lance and Keith are okay.

“Oh, now they finally contact us?” Lance says, slamming his comm down.

“I guess we should go back.”

“Yeah.”

They sit up. Lance rubs at his head, feeling slightly woozy from drink. Keith looks over at him and their eyes meet. The moonlight shines on Lance’s face, somehow making him even more beautiful than he already is. Keith needs to say something and he needs to say it _now_.

“Lance,” he starts, feeling his heart in his throat.

But Lance’s comm rings out with a call and he answers. Keith can hear that it’s Hunk, worried. “No, it’s fine, me and Keith were just walking around... yeah, we’ll be back soon to see you all, we can all chat the night away. I’m staying an extra day anyway…. yeah…. Pfft, no way am I drunk! If I was well and truly drunk, I would have lost this comm an hour ago and we would not be having this conversation. Yup. See you soon, ciao!” He puts his comm away and turns to Keith. “It’s our mommy a.k.a. Hunk. Curfew is up! Anyway, what were you going to say?”

“Nothing. I’ll race you back to the Castle. On the count of one-” and he takes off. Lance shouts behind him that he’s cheating. But Keith is fast and going downhill makes him even faster, vastly expanding the distance between them. He’s so relieved he doesn’t have to look at Lance right now, so relieved that Lance doesn’t have to see these tears streaming down his face. He can’t believe he came this close to saying it. And what good would confessing to Lance do anyway? Lance would never love him back. Keith wants to scream into the night, one long, lone outcry to no one at all.


	5. Four Years and a Few Months On: New Year's Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confession is made on New Year’s Eve.

_"'Cause I see the storm getting closer_  
_And the waves they get so high_  
_Seems everything we've ever known's here_  
_Why must it drift away and die"_

This is not the way Keith wanted to ring in the new year.

The music is so loud and so awful, he can’t believe he’s been here an hour already. Figures the rare time he wants to celebrate the planetary concept of a new year and it’s a letdown. The plan was to find someone to fuck the night away with but everyone he’s met is terrible, or worse, mediocre. With a club capacity of 10,000, how could the odds be so stacked against him? On top of that, the drinks are overpriced and the people seem irritatingly young. This was such a bad idea. The club was advertised as being the galaxy-wide Party Central for New Year’s Eve. What a waste of the new red leather-like jacket he got for the occasion. Keith is ready to give up before midnight.

The people on the arena-sized dancefloor think otherwise. Several are even dancing with flashy droids. It reminds him of when Lance joked that Pidge made robots with more personality than Keith. He’s certain that these droids are having a better time than he is. God, why did he have to think of Lance now? In truth, Lance is never very far away from his thoughts in general... but he was really hoping some new stranger would occupy him completely tonight.

Keith is about to leave his barstool when the eight-limbed bartender hands him a purple drink with a lily-like flower against the rim. He’s about to protest that he didn’t order this when the bartender points a different arm further down the bar. Keith turns his head and sees a female Galra wink at him. Great. This will be the third time he has to come out tonight. He tries not to look tired as she comes over.

“You should drink that,” she says. “I paid extra to not have it watered down.” She clinks her own glass to his.

Keith forces a smile. “Thanks, but I really can’t take this.”

“It’s non-alcoholic but it does have maedrathycin. To some races, like us Galra, it’s a mood enhancer. Gives you the buzzy happiness of alcohol without the messiness of it. My name’s Krimya by the way.”

Keith considers the drink before him. He _is_ in a pretty shitty mood. Out of the blue, he’s reminded of a line from some ancient black and white American sitcom where the comedienne joked that ‘ _the answer to all your problems is in this little ol' bottle_ ’. He takes a sip and finds it to be delicious. Wait a minute… “How did you know I was part-Galra?”

“Aren’t you Keith Kogane?”

Huh. His recognition has happened on occasion (after all, Voltron wasn’t exactly a secret) but it still takes him by surprise. He hopes she is a friendly Galra. He hasn’t seen many around here. “Um, yeah,” he answers honestly.

“And you’re here alone? Or are you going to meet up with the other Paladins later?”

That was a more loaded question than Keith was ready to answer. “I’m by myself tonight.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “Interesting… and what are you looking for this New Year’s Eve?”

Here we go. “Sorry. It’s just that I’m… I’m looking for something different.”

She pauses mid-drink. “Is it because I’m Galra or that I’m female?”

“Uh, the last part.”

“Damn! I owe my friend 600 coins. I kept telling her you weren’t ready to settle down while she said you were totally in lo… well, nevermind! Hey, at least I get to share a drink with a cute guy tonight!” She raises her glass and drinks. Keith doesn’t want to offend her and does the same. He wonders if 600 coins is a lot or not.

“Uh, I’m sure you’ll do fine. You’re really pretty, there must be dozens of guys here who would love to chat you up.”

“Hmph. You’d be surprised. I mean, not to knock the great work that your mom and Kolivan have been doing but there’s still residual bias against Galra, even all these years later.”

“I’m sorry,” Keith acknowledges. It’s easy for him to pass since he looks human. If only it were easy to stomp out prejudice completely. He’s about to say something more when she interrupts him excitedly.

“Ha, looks like you lied to me! Guess there is another Paladin you’re meeting up with tonight.” She is looking past Keith, several seats down the bar.

Oh god.

Is it really… can it be... “ _Lance?_ ”

Lance turns from retrieving his drink from the bartender. “Keith!” he shouts, shock intermingling with his smile. “Of all the gin joints in town, et cetera, et cetera! Wow, I did not expect to see you here at this kind of place at all!”

Unreal. Keith had thrown himself another several light-years away from Earth in a misguided attempt to distance himself of all things Lance. And yet Lance still manages to show up where he least expects him. They’d kept in contact since their night on Vesper Hill, despite Keith’s embarrassment over almost telling Lance how he really felt. He knows Lance still doesn’t know his true feelings but seeing him again in person brings back that moment. It also doesn’t help that Lance is wearing a tight white v-neck shirt underneath his dark blue denim jacket. Keith clears his head before he speaks.

“I should be saying that to you! This planet is at least _within_ the galaxy I live in.”

“Word about this club travels! And today coincides with Earth’s new year. Thought I’d try something different, maybe even relive my wild days. Some pretty hot people around... are you here alone?”

“Actually… ,” Keith is about to introduce Krimya but she is gone. Strange. He hopes it’s because a nice guy took her to the dancefloor. ‘Yeah, I came here by myself.”

“Ah, thought so. That nice jacket looks like a date investment. Is it leather?” Lance asks reaching over to touch it.

“No, but it’s the exact composition of it. Like, without actually being made of animal skin.”

“Nice! Couldn’t imagine any of us actually wearing leather again. Not after Kaltenecker. Ooh, that flowery drink looks so good! What is it?”

“Uh, I have no idea.”

“Weren’t you just drinking from it though?”

“I didn’t order it.”

“But then how… ohhh!” Lance exclaims as the explanation dawns on him. He flashes his infamous finger guns at Keith. “You move fast! Where’s the guy who bought you that?”

Keith smirks. “She left.”

“ _She??_ ”

“I was being nice to her! Plus she recognized me.”

“Can you find her again? Maybe I’m her type.”

“And why would I subject her to that kind of cruelty? She was nice.”

Lance narrows his eyes at him but his lips curl into a smile. He reaches over and wraps his fingers around the stem of Keith’s glass. “I’m stealing your drink. At least someone who hasn’t _rejected_ her should enjoy it.” He takes a sip but almost immediately makes a face. “Oh, gross! Are you sure she wasn’t trying to poison you? What’s in this?”

Keith is confused, it tasted great to him. “But it’s non-alcoholic!” Keith says.

“Even worse, you can keep that! Come on, we’re not gonna be wallflowers all night. It’s time to dance.”

Keith is about to protest but Lance literally pulls him by the arm to the dancefloor. The music is pulsating and the mass of bodies envelops them. The club is dark but the strobing lights and flashing lasers afford glimpses of everyone around them dancing and laughing. Keith doesn’t know why he found it all so off-putting before. Everyone is having a great time. Lance is dancing fervently and Keith can’t take his eyes off him. The loud music doesn’t allow for much conversation but it feels good to just be near him. He doesn’t want to get too close but there’s hardly room for him to move away. Whenever their arms brush against each other, Keith feels electricity spark at the touch.

Keith is surprised to hear a song that actually sounds good. The lyrics are in English, though it’s one he’s never heard before:

_“I think I'm on another world with you  
With you  
I'm on another planet with you  
With you” _

Of all the cities in all the planets of all the galaxies, how is it that they ended up together on a night like this?

Lance leans in to Keith’s ear. “You know, you’re not as terrible a dancer as you used to be.”

“I was never a terrible dancer!”

“Oh Keith. How could you forget? Remember that time when Allura discovered Abba and we held an impromptu dance party on the Castle bridge? Even the _mice_ had better dance moves than you.”

“It was _Abba_. Who dances to Abba?”

“Are you seriously asking who dances to Abba?? God, Keith you should like be arrested for that comment. Do I need to school you on dance and dance history? C’mere.”

Lance takes hold of Keith’s gloved hands in his and dances enthusiastically with him. Normally Keith would pull away but tonight is for celebrating and his mood is a thousand times brighter than before. This is the most fun he’s had in years… maybe it is enough to just be friends with him? The inside of Lance’s thigh brushes against Keith’s and his brain turns to mush. Forget that previous thought. Keith wants him so much closer. As if the universe is listening, someone accidentally pushes harshly behind Keith, pressing him right against Lance.

“S-sorry,” Keith stammers into Lance’s ear. Lance places his right hand on Keith’s shoulder, though Keith can’t tell whether it’s to brace the contact or hold him closer. Have they ever stood this close to each other before? Keith’s heart beats so loud, he swears it can be heard over the music. When he pulls back they make eye contact and time stands still.

Suddenly the music lowers slightly and everyone is shouting. “...NINE… EIGHT… SEVEN…”

_Oh shit_. Keith forgot it was almost midnight. Fuck, now what? Lance smiles and is shouting the countdown also and looks around at the venue and all the people frantically ready to celebrate.

“...FOUR... THREE… TWO…”

For the first time in Keith’s life, he doesn’t think. Right at ‘ONE’, he grabs Lance’s face and presses his lips feverishly to his. He doesn’t let go. He feels Lance’s lips part slightly and Keith pushes his tongue in, feeling for his. He doesn’t know how much time passes but eventually he pulls away and they look at each other, both in equal levels of shock. Confetti and glitter float all around them. Lance is about to say something but Keith interrupts, tightly grasping onto Lance’s hand. “ _Please come home with me tonight._ ” It was supposed to sound like a question, not a desperate demand. He sees Lance slightly frown. Shit, of all the things Keith should say to Lance after kissing him for the first time ever, he’s asking him back to his place like all he wants is a quick fuck. There’s no turning back now, he has to do this.

“Lance, I love you. I’ve been in love with you since I met you. Could you really not see it? I tried to stop it, I tried to make these feelings go away but they just wouldn’t and... I can’t help how I feel. You drive me crazy but you’re the most beautiful fucking person I’ve ever laid eyes on and everything is … everything is _you_. All I want is _you_.”

Lance takes a step back. There are tears in his eyes. “Oh, Keith. I’m so, so sorry. I wish… but I just can’t…”

_I just can’t do this, I only like you as a friend, I don’t have the same feelings as you._ Keith can fill in the blanks. He lets go of Lance’s hand. He wants to lie and say “It’s fine,” but no words come out. He can’t act like he didn’t just spill his entire fucking heart out in the last minute. Lance is still apologizing but the music gets louder again and Keith doesn’t want to listen anymore. He pulls away and goes through the throng of people. He heads outside in a daze, leaving the club behind him.

Fireworks are going off in the near distance. There’s a ringing in his ears. Keith brings a finger to the edge of his mouth. Did all that really happen?

Mechanically, he finds his ship and takes off. Miles and miles out and he expects the tears to come but nothing does. He feels absolutely hollow inside. This is why he never said anything before. This is what was always going to happen. How stupid could he be?

He wishes he’d never kissed Lance. Now he would always know what he would be missing for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Thanks for reading so far, I appreciate all the comments and kudos! Let me know if I should be adding chapter reviews in the summaries. I wish I had a steady update schedule but I hope to add a new chapter each week, if not sooner. 
> 
> The song mentioned in this chapter is called “Another Girl, Another Planet” by The Only Ones.


	6. Five Years On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first time that Keith doesn't attend Allura's memorial service. He receives an unexpected visit from someone.

**_"I'll never find anyone to replace you_ **  
**_Guess I'll have to make it through, this time - oh this time_ **  
**_Without you"_ **

The morning’s work is just about done. Hundreds of MRE’s were given out by Keith’s team over the last few hours. They’ve gotten a lot faster with distribution since they arrived almost three weeks ago. Keith instructs everyone to take a break before the afternoon shift. He runs through a mental checklist of everything to do today. Inventory was taken last night and he thinks they’ll have enough medical supplies and food until the next shipment due to arrive in a few days.

Keith and his team are stationed at an encampment on the outer reaches of the Centaurus Galaxy. A seismic quake hit the north side of the planet recently. Luckily there were few casualties, but there was a lot of damage to habitats and there is a lack of essential resources. Keith’s organization almost immediately flew in to help. He and Acxa are in charge of the essential resources while the team led by Zethrid and Ezor is in charge of housing reconstruction. They work pretty much nonstop except for sleep but it doesn’t bother Keith to keep this busy. Distraction from his own thoughts is a mercy.

On a group lunch break, he sees several people gather around a screen. He looks over and a jolt of recognition hits him. Keith forgot Allura’s memorial is transmitted over the airwaves since he was usually there every year. The camera pans for a good couple of seconds over Lance’s face.

Ezor sighs. “Gosh, he’s pretty. I wonder if he’ll ever find someone else in the future.”

Acxa rolls her eyes at Ezor’s superficial comment while Zethrid glances in Keith’s direction. He says nothing, just stares at the faces of the other Paladins on the screen. It’s been a while since he’s seen them nor has he exchanged many messages with them. He even dropped out of the group chat. He doesn’t know if Lance told the other Paladins what happened last New Year’s, but Keith sure as hell hasn’t said anything. He hates to admit that this recent planetary disaster was a welcome excuse to not see Lance at the memorial. He quickly resumes working after his last bite of food.

Hours later and most everyone is relieved of their duties. Keith has pulled a straight twelve-hour shift and shows no signs of stopping. Acxa stomps over to him. “If your intention is to actually _add_ to the death toll then _please_ do continue working, Keith.”

“I’m not tired. And I have to get these water supplies tested.”

“And that’s why there is a whole troop of people here to relieve us. As a high-ranking officer, you really should set a better example to everyone. If you insist on working this late, I will order Zethrid to throw you over her shoulder and drag you to bed.”

Keith sighs, knowing that Acxa would actually do this and that the tall and muscular Zethrid is absolutely capable of following this order through. He puts down one final 5-gallon container on a flatbed hovercraft and crosses his arms. “Fine. But I’m taking the early shift tomorrow.”

“No less than 5 hours of sleep for you. I’ll be keeping an eye out.”

Keith walks back to the camp where they spend the night. In the lounge area at the front of the tent, the bubbly Ezor smiles and says “Hey! You’re finally back! Wanna play this VR game with us?”

“No thanks,” Keith says and heads over to the wing of bunk beds further back. She follows him. 

“Hey Mr. Moody! I know you miss your Paladin friends. You could have taken like a day to visit them, Altea’s not that far from here.”

Ezor, Acxa and Zethrid know nothing about Keith going ghost on his friends. It’s not really something you announce. “I’m exactly where I need to be.”

“Okie dokie, whatever you say! Let me know if you change your mind about the VR game. Though to be honest, you should get some rest. Those bags under your eyes are _not_ a cute look.”

* * *

Days later and Keith is assigned to Dock 628. The ship that is scheduled to arrive with more food supplies is approaching. When it lands, the people inside step out with remarkable efficiency. They are all dressed in chef’s uniforms. Several people cart out boxes and boxes of supplies and then a familiar face comes off the ship with his own cart.

“Hey, Keith! Did you see this week’s menu? We started vegan Shepherd’s pie prep on the ship but we’re going to continue the rest of it here. No need to point us to a kitchen, we’ve got everything we need on board! Though a power-up for the generator would be neat.”

Keith stares dumbfounded at Hunk. He had no idea he was arriving on this ship. And it seems like he brought fully-prepared lunches and dinners? The smell is intoxicating. “What did you bring? I thought it was going to be standard MRE’s.”

“Gosh, Keith, haven’t these people suffered enough?” Hunk takes a prepped plate from a cart and hands it to him. “Here, eat this. Have you heard of Chef Jose Enrique? He’s a world-class genius. After hurricanes hit Puerto Rico, he fed entire communities his amazing dishes. Well, I took a bit of inspiration from him and I’m here to help out. By the way, it’s nice seeing you. We missed you at the memorial.”

Keith doesn’t know how to respond but Hunk hands him an apron and hat. The ship Hunk arrived on starts to unfold and state-of-the-art kitchens are revealed. “You’re on salad duty. Head over there and get your instructions from my second in command.” Hunk pushes him along and Keith joins the assembly line of cooks and chefs and food preparers. Hours pass and late in the day Keith joins the long tables that were set up for the local inhabitants to eat. He immediately notes the changes in their behavior. Instead of just eating for sustenance they are laughing and actually enjoying themselves. Leave it to Hunk to bring joy everywhere. Speaking of, Hunk is going around and talking to those seated and listening to their opinions on what they enjoyed. He’s only too happy to get seconds for those who ask. Acxa stands next to Keith and even she can’t help but smile. “Your friend Hunk really is something else.”

“He sure is,” agrees Keith.

Keith spends the next few hours on clean-up duty. By the time his team is done, the sun is setting. Keith looks again for Hunk and sees him in the center of a circle made up of his food prep team. Keith goes over to listen to the tail-end of the talk. “Again, great work everyone, I can’t thank you all enough. See you all bright and early for breakfast prep tomorrow!”

They all high-five and hug and Keith is full of admiration for his friend. He goes over to Hunk and asks, “How long are you staying?”

“At least a week. Wish I could stay longer. I’ll be prepping a different team who will be staying indefinitely.”

Keith nods. “Thank you so much, Hunk. This means a lot.”

“No problemo! See you tomorrow! I’ll have you on fruit compôte duty in the morning.”

The next several days pass in a similar fashion. They are so busy working that it’s a relief to Keith that he doesn’t spend time alone with Hunk. He’s afraid he might bring up Keith dropping out of the Paladins’ group chat or going ghost on them. On Hunk’s last night, they are gathered just outside the encampment celebrating someone’s birthday with a gigantic cake. There are more than enough slices to go around. Just as Keith finishes indulging in his slice, Hunk turns to him and says, “Hey, got a minute for a quick chat?”

“Um, sure,” Keith says, swallowing hard. He thought they wouldn’t get a chance to talk alone and therefore has not thought of a proper excuse if Hunk is going to give him the third degree. He leads Hunk to the back of the large tent where the empty planning room is. A long table with a map sits in the middle of the room surrounded by several chairs. Keith turns on the overhead lantern. Maybe he can pull this conversation in a non-personal direction. “I can’t thank you enough, Hunk. This was above and beyond anything I expected.”

“Sure, anytime man. It’s the least I could do when I heard what happened. By the way I heard from Ezor that you have all been here for almost a month now?”

“Uh, yeah I think so.”

“I expect you’re due for a bit of a break soon, huh?”

“I don’t need a break.”

Hunk snorts. “Keith, you really never change, do ya? Are we on the same level of command or am I higher than you?”

Keith is confused by the question. “We belong to two totally different organizations now.”

“In any case, you’re NOT the leader like you were during Voltron. So I _order_ you to take a break, a long one, and very soon. I hear Earth’s nice this time of year...”

Keith stares hard at him. Hunk was never great at the art of subtlety. “I’m good here.” 

There is a brief moment of silence that Keith doesn’t know how to fill.

“Keith, I’m just gonna come out and ask you something, point-blank.”

Keith shrugs. “Doesn’t mean I’ll answer.”

“Did you and Lance sleep together?”

“ _What_? Is that what he told you?”

“Nope. In fact, he hasn’t said anything about it to me. Well, not anything specific. Only that he met you at New Year’s on that party planet and something happened and he’s pretty sure you’re never speaking to him again. Well, I pried as much as I could but nothing. It’s not like Lance to keep his mouth shut so I figured it had to be like really, really bad. Basically I’m trying to think of the most dramatic thing that could happen and maybe it was some drunken debauchery that you guys can’t face but like… you guys have known each other for so long now. Is it really something so… unforgivable?”

Keith mulls over the fact that Lance hasn’t given any details, not even to Hunk. Is he trying to protect Keith? Because what Keith said to him was that embarrassing?

“Can we kind of not talk about this, Hunk? It’s done and over with.”

“ _No_ ,” Hunk says so resolutely and loudly that Keith almost takes a step back. “And I’ll tell you why not. We’ve been through _everything_ together. We had each other’s backs, we fought alongside each other in _war_ , one of us even gave the ultimate sacrifice. And you and Lance have the nerve to tell me that you two got into a pissy little argument that somehow trumps EVERYTHING that happened before?? Does that make any kind of sense to you?”

“It wasn’t an argument,” Keith offers lamely.

“I’m all ears,” Hunks says as he uncrosses his arms to pull up a chair, sit firmly on it and recross his arms. He stares hard at Keith.

Fuck it, Keith thinks. What does it matter who knows now, the situation won’t change anyway. “I made a mockery of Allura’s memory. That’s what I did.” Hunk looks at him in concern but Keith continues. “I kissed Lance on New Year’s, then I told him I loved him. Well, first I asked him to come home with me, if you really want to get technical with all the details.”

Hunk chews on a fingernail before he speaks again. “And what did he say?”

“Well, the obvious. He’s saying over and over that he’s sorry, looking at me like I’m the most pathetic person in the world. Which, like, _I am_. Because what the fuck was I thinking, right? I shouldn’t have said anything. I shouldn’t have even kissed him in the first place. So, in a nutshell, I ruined our entire friendship in a matter of minutes. And that’s about it.”

Hunk is silent for a while. He has his hand under his chin and is studying Keith like he’s a complex math problem to solve. It’s too much for Keith to bear and he says, “You know, it’s fine, you can curse me out, you can tell me I’m awful or pathetic or whatever! I can take it.”

Hunk shakes his head. “You’re not awful,” he says, trying to measure his words. “See, the thing is… this isn’t exactly some big surprise. You being in love with Lance, I mean. _Admitting_ it to him is definitely new but in the end, it’s just stating the obvious. Like when you came out to us.”

Keith blinks once, then twice. He doesn’t know how to take this. If it weren’t for the thoughtful, soft expression on Hunk’s face, he would think he’s being read for filth. “You’re saying he already knew how I felt?”

“Hear me out,” Hunk says, his fingers splayed together in front of him like some Sherlockian mastermind. “It’s not Earth’s New Year’s Eve that day. You both end up at that club which is very close to you but takes months to get to from where Lance is. You think it’s a coincidence he was there at the same time as you?”

Keith thinks about this for a few seconds but isn’t convinced. “The club has a reputation across galaxies. _Everyone_ gathers there. And you know how he feels about alien women, he’d have his pick of so many at that place.”

“You said Lance was apologizing,” Hunk continues, ignoring what Keith said. “What exactly did he say sorry for?”

Keith throws his hands up in frustration. “Oh my god, Hunk, you really want me to relive this? He was _rejecting_ me, it wasn’t some apology like he stepped on my foot or something!”

“I’m just looking for the facts,” Hunk says like every television detective ever. 

“Okay, I see where this is going. You’re trying to draw out some grand misunderstanding from our interaction despite the fact that I _clearly_ remember the look in Lance’s eyes as he’s crying and telling me that he _‘just can’t do this’_. No, apparently that’s code for ‘I love you too’ in Hunk’s world! Okay then, even aside from that, what kind of insensitive asshole takes his shot at his best friend whose girlfriend died only a few years ago and who also was one of his closest friends too? _Who does that?_ It’s fucked up and it completely dishonors everything Allura stood for. She would fucking hate me and I’d deserve it.”

Hunk is smiling, not looking at Keith. He starts chuckling a bit which only angers Keith more. 

“What could you possibly be laughing about?” 

“Oh. It’s just something I remembered from way back when. Before Lance and Allura were even together. It was like morning in the Castle of Lions and you and Lance were rolling on the floor in an all-out fight over like what were the best _breakfast cereals_ or something equally ridiculous. Heh. Anyway, I remember Allura turning to me, rolling her eyes and going ‘Those two are gonna get married one day. Hunk, when you’re put in charge of their wedding cake, please create their cake toppers to be just like this moment’ and we both just died laughing. I even drew the cake design later and showed her images of you two fighting and falling from tier to tier of the cake and it became this big inside joke for us. I still have those drawings somewhere, I should show them to you and Lance.”

Keith’s face is set in stone. “This isn’t funny, Hunk.”

“Well, _I_ think it’s funny.”

Keith sighs exasperatedly. “Whatever she said as a joke years ago does not suddenly mean she’s giving her _blessing_ on a relationship that is never happening anyway!”

“How would you know how she’d feel about all this?”

“Because she was in love with him!”

“Yeah, and maybe he’s in love with _you_!”

Keith narrows his eyes at Hunk. “Please don’t start with that again. He clearly loves _her_.”

“Alright, let’s have it your way: Lance will never love you the way you love him and you’re totally mortified at him knowing your _big secret_ ,” Hunk says, rolling his eyes at the last part. “But Keith, I mean this in the best possible way: Get. Over. It. You’re not the first person to have his heart broken by a friend. I get that it hurts. But the bond between you two is stronger than that. You know this. _Please_. I’m not saying everything will be unicorns and roses between you two anytime soon but at least be on talking terms. Because you know what? If there’s anything Allura would hate, it would be her being the reason you two aren’t friends. Not even you could deny that, Keith.”

Keith frowns. He knows Hunk is right about the last part but he just can’t envision himself taking the step to message Lance or call him. What could he possibly say? And who even knows if Lance would want to hear from him? He’s about to voice these thoughts out loud but Hunk puts a hand up to stop him.

“Nope, don’t wanna hear it. Just think on that for a bit, would ya? It’s getting kind of late and I need my beauty sleep.” Hunk gets up from the chair. “I’ll see you in the morning before I go?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Okay, good. You owe me breakfast for a change.” He smiles and begins walking away.

“Wait,” Keith stops him and puts his arms around him and Hunk hugs him back strongly. God, he misses Hunk hugs. They really are the absolute best. “I don’t know what I’m going to do but thanks for coming out here and helping with everything. I really missed you.”

“No biggie, Keith. It’s funny, I always thought you were the bravest of us all but when it comes to Lance you’re just a puddle of vulnerability. It’s sweet. I know you don’t believe me but I think he loves you too.”

Keith doesn’t believe him, not even a little bit. He wishes Hunk a good night and then steps out to the back of the encampment, needing fresh air to think. He walks in darkness, only the stars and moons above lighting his path. Why would Hunk think that Lance loved him back? Keith wants believe him, after all Hunk is Lance’s best friend... 

No. Keith shakes the idea out of his head. If Lance did love him, then why did he reject him the way he did? Keith is mad at himself for getting his hopes up when the reality is quite different. He starts walking back to the encampment. He only wishes that the exhaustion from today’s work will let him sleep soon so he doesn’t have to think anymore about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of Lance in this one! The next chapter is technically the last chapter, the eighth one will be the Epilogue. Thanks again for reading!!!


	7. Five Years and Two Months On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith moves to an isolated residence in a distant galaxy, ready to live out the rest of his days alone. Until one day he receives a surprise visitor...

**_"But everything we've ever known's here_  
_I never wanted it to die"_ **

The region of Qerrassa in the northern hemisphere of the planet Volnicura is cold and mountainous. The jagged, snowy peaks of the mountain range appear inhospitable from afar. But on closer inspection one could see that multiple towns and homes were built into the various mountain ledges. Keith’s new residence is on one of the taller peaks. It’s a circular cabin made of wood and steel with large weatherproof windows providing spectacular views of the landscape.

The environment is colder than any he’s ever been in but he readily endures it for the quiet the area provides him. Keith could go for days without seeing any people. He keeps active by mountain climbing, skiing, snowshoeing and when the snow lessens, trails are available for hiking or running. When he needs food and other necessities he travels by cable car into the nearest town. Once his mountain-climbing skills improve, he wants to explore the unnamed areas on the local maps. The pioneer-like existence suits him.

It’s a brisk morning and he’s finishing up a fifteen-mile run, reaching a personal speed record. It’s setting the tone for a great day. The snow begins to fall again and he considers going to the northeastern village tomorrow for skiing. Just as he’s rounding the turn to his home, he sees an unfamiliar ship next to his on the small landing space. 

That’s unusual. He’s never gotten any visitors here. 

The ship doesn’t look local. He approaches the vehicle cautiously, the blade in his hiking snowboot readily available should he need it. Looking through the windshield he doesn’t see anyone but suddenly he’s hit on the head from behind.

He quickly turns around, blade poised at the ready and sees a figure in a puff parka with fur hood standing a short distance away. Their face is almost completely covered by reflective skiing goggles. The person laughs and waves a mitten with the remnants of the snowball they just threw at Keith. As the figure moves closer, they remove their goggles and… it feels like a hallucination. It really can’t be him. Maybe Keith fainted from hypothermia during his run and this is a fever dream.

“Hey Keith! Sorry about the snowball, I couldn’t help myself. This place is so beautiful, it’s like the Alps on steroids!”

“You… you’re here?” Keith asks dumbly, still not making sense of the situation. 

“Yeah, I’m here! Sorry, I would have called or told you ahead of time but, like, you either wouldn’t have answered or told me not to come. I got your address from Pidge.”

“But she doesn’t know where I live.”

“Yeah, but the tracker she put on your ship does.”

_ Shit _ . This is what he gets for not changing his ship for the last two years. He’s trying to think of what to say next but comes up with nothing.

Lance, as always, fills the silence. “Umm, it’s kind of cold out here.”

“It’s not that cold,” Keith counters. Their breath is clearly visible between them.

“Are you forgetting my Cuban roots? I wasn’t made for this kind of weather. Plus, I did kind of come from pretty far away. Invite me in? Please?”

Keith tenses but he knows they can’t talk out here. He tries to walk normally back to his cabin but is utterly thrown off knowing that Lance is following him to his door. Once inside, even with the heat not fully blasting yet, it feels significantly warmer. Keith turns the small fireplace on and Lance immediately gravitates toward it, putting his mittened hands out as close to the flame as possible without catching fire. 

Keith knows he is sweaty and gross under his jacket after the morning’s long run so he keeps it on. He doesn’t know how long this conversation will be but the jacket also offers a figurative layer of protection that he thinks he’ll need. They haven’t spoken or communicated since the New Year’s debacle where Keith told Lance he loved him and Lance rejected him.

“Cute chalet you have here, Keith, if a bit sparse. This moment really calls for a hot chocolate, do you think maybe… ”. Lance cuts his own suggestion short when he sees the look on Keith’s face. “Okay, maybe later.”

Keith can’t read Lance right now. It’s not just that his body is half-turned toward the fireplace and away from him but the casualness of his tone is throwing him off. He’s sick of this small talk. “I know you didn’t come all this way to drink a hot chocolate. Whatever you have to say, just … out with it.”

“Oh. Yeah. See the thing is, I didn’t prepare anything to say.”

Keith crosses his arms. He doesn’t like the almost-flippant tone Lance is using, as if they didn’t have a dramatic separation months ago and go completely ghost on each other since then. “Hm. Really.” Keith’s anger is barely restrained.

“Yeah. But I did prepare what I was going to  _ do _ .” Lance takes his mittens off and casually tosses them to the nearest chair. 

Keith really didn’t think Lance would come all this way to fight him but it’s also not the last thing he would expect. He braces himself and stands his ground. As Lance gets closer it’s clear he’s not angry but there is a tension in his eyes. Lance places his warmed up hands to either side of Keith’s still-cold face and brings him close and gently kisses him. It’s not like the first time when Keith rashly grabbed Lance on the dancefloor on New Year’s. His lips press softly onto his, then gradually stronger and deeper. The moment doesn’t completely register to Keith, almost like it’s happening to someone else. This isn’t real. This  _ can’t _ be real. Keith wonders who will ever find his body at the jagged pass miles back, that’s probably where he really is right now.

Lance pulls away and looks at Keith with a big smile on his face. “Hey guess what? I love you too, idiot.”

Keith should ask for an explanation. This still doesn’t make any sense. But if this is a dream or fantasy, he’s going to take advantage of this moment. He kisses Lance back, deeper than he’s ever kissed anyone in his life, strong enough to channel all the kisses he’s ever wanted to give Lance for the past god-knows-how many years. Lance is kissing him back and their arms are wrapped around each other and god, why is Lance still wearing this puff jacket that acts like a chastity belt. He can hardly feel his body. Keith takes it off him and Lance takes off Keith’s jacket.

“Wait,” Keith says. “I just came back from a long run and…”

“And I haven’t showered in days because you decided to live in a galaxy far, far away. Shall we?”

If he thought the walk to his cabin was nerve-wracking, the walk to his own bathroom is downright terrifying. The shower stall takes in plenty of light from outside. It looks like something from a travel catalog. Lance almost considers it voyeuristic except for the fact that the view is all mountains and there is not another soul around for miles. Just the two of them, together at last. They hold hands and stand outside the shower and the brightness of the room brings them to a stark reality. Keith swallows hard. “Um… ,” he stalls, like an idiot. He never had any problem taking his clothes off in front of the dozens of random hook-ups he’s had. Why is this so different. Luckily, it’s Lance who starts taking off his own shirt, then his jeans and socks and finally his underwear. 

God.

All the late nights and mornings fantasizing about seeing Lance’s naked body have done nothing to prepare him for the actual moment. Keith can feel his face burn up. He wants to look but doesn’t want to look. Is all this… really his now?

Lance smiles at Keith. “Come on, you know you can’t step into a shower with your clothes on, right?” He reaches over to dumbstruck Keith and begins taking his shirt off. He allows Lance to take off the rest of his clothes because he can’t think properly enough to remember how. 

Finally, he manages to stutter, “Lance, y-you’re more beautiful than I ever imagined.”  _ Jesus, Keith do you really have to say what you are thinking? _

Lance holds Keith’s hand again. “I know I am,” he teases. “And so are you. Come on.” They step into the shower and kiss under the falling water.

\-----

Their kisses continue in Keith’s bedroom, their bodies connecting in all the ways Keith only ever dreamed of. Hours pass and the sun begins to set. Finally, exhausted but still pressed close together, they face each other on Keith’s pillow. Keith sighs and asks, “What have you done with the old Lance?”

“What old Lance?”

“You know, the one that hated me.”

Lance snort-laughs. “I could say the same about you. I don’t think we’ve ever had a conversation where you didn’t insult me at least once.”

“Did you always know I loved you? Even before that New Year’s?”

Lance looks thoughtful. “I mean, who  _ wouldn’t _ be in love with me, Keith?”

Keith play-slaps his arm. 

“Okay, okay! Well to be honest, everyone kind of hinted it at me but I never really believed them. I mean, you were so hostile to me! Hey, do you remember when we were on Vesper Hill that day, almost, what, two years ago? I gave you all these hints and was flirting like crazy but you didn’t pick up on any of it.” 

Keith closes his eyes in embarrassment and frustration. Dammit, he didn’t just imagine that they were having a moment those years back! How could he be so stupid? “I… I was this close to saying something to you but… I just wimped out.”

Lance smiles and kisses Keith softly. “Hey, it’s okay. And I know I said I didn’t prepare what I was going to say when I visited you but I do owe you a big apology. So here it is: I’m sorry. Really and truly.”

“Apology accepted,” Keith says, as his fingers travel along Lance’s beautiful neck. “And I can think of ways you can make up for it.” Lance laughs and Keith loves how he feels in his arms. He is never letting go, ever.

“Okay, but hear me out. About New Year’s …”

Keith pulls away from Lance to look him in the eye. “Yes! New Year’s … when you rejected me and broke my heart and basically made a mountain hermit of me. Go on.” He meant to say it in a light-hearted way but there is a tinge of hurt in his voice that he didn’t expect to come out.

“Yeah, so… I know it might not make sense to you at first but like… I went to that planet specifically looking for you. I didn’t know for sure that you’d be at the club but I took a chance and it felt like, I don’t know … something like fate brought us to each other. But I didn’t know what I wanted to happen, only that I missed you and … well the truth is after you kissed me and told me you loved me, I just panicked. That’s the stupid truth. Not because I didn’t love you but because I  _ did _ love you back.”

“You’re right, this isn’t making much sense.”

Lance bites his lip. “Keith. Drinking and dancing with you that night? It was the first time that well... I wasn’t thinking of Allura  _ at all _ . And it scared me.”

Keith’s expression softens in concern. Lance continues.

“It felt like when I was thinking of you, she faded. And I didn’t want that to happen. It made me sick to my stomach. With Prarthana and the other girls I dated I never felt that way but when you kissed me, it felt like the entire universe just melted away except for us. And how could I let Allura’s memory slip away from me like that?” There were tears falling down Lance’s face and Keith brushed them away with his fingers, caressing his face, feeling his pain like it was his own. “I felt so guilty and awful. That she was gone and sacrificed herself for all of us and it didn’t feel right for me to have the luxury of moving on and finding love and happiness again... it just didn’t seem fair at all.”

Keith couldn’t believe how much of what Lance felt was similar to his own thoughts when it came to Allura’s memory. He gently held onto one of Lance’s hands as he continued speaking.

“So like, I decided to push my feelings for you away and was all prepared to live the rest of my life alone but Shiro visited me like a month ago. Mostly because he was concerned about you, I think. And you know I can’t hide anything from him. I told him what happened at New Year’s. And how I felt that guilt. And you know what he does? He asks if I think Allura loved me. And I said yeah of course! And he says ‘why would someone who loved you want you to be sad and hurting?’ I didn’t have a good answer for him of course. I knew he was right but the feelings of guilt still didn’t go away. So he told me I should at least tell you that I loved you also but couldn’t be with you. So that was my original intention when I decided to take this trip to find you. I bothered Pidge about your coordinates and during the trip I was trying to figure out how to tell all this to you. And I got super nervous and anxious and I video-chatted with Hunk while the ship was on auto-pilot. And you know what he file-sends me? These drawings he did that Allura designed of …”

“Our wedding cake with the toppers of us that are fighting?”

“Oh my god! How do you know about that?”

“Hunk had a heart-to-heart with me a couple of months ago and told me about that memory.”

“Huh! That’s so strange. Leave it to Hunk! Yeah, so anyway, after seeing those funny drawings the whole thing just seemed ridiculous to me then. Like, literally everyone except us expected us to get together, do you know what I mean? And I just felt so stupid. Like, here I had this chance to rewrite my own happy ending and I was throwing it away. So yeah, like in the last thousand miles I decided I was going to kiss you. But first throw a snowball at you. Anyway, that’s the whole story of how I ended up on this mountain peak in the middle of nowhere with you.”

Keith sighs and smiles. “Thank you for that explanation. I needed that more than I thought I did. But I think we’re due for another round before we have our next conversation.” He rolls over on top of Lance and presses his full weight onto him, bare skin to bare skin. 

Lance almost holds his breath before smiling. “And … how many rounds will there be in total?”

“Hmm, let’s add a round for … for every time we fought.”

“Keith!” Lance laughs. “We will literally  _ never _ leave this bedroom ever again!”

“That’s exactly what I want,” Keith whispers into Lance’s ear, his lust no longer veiled to the object of his affection. They kiss passionately, overwhelmed with each other. 

The night darkens outside. Far beyond are the galaxies and planets Keith and Lance traveled through as Paladins of Voltron. Everything has led up to this moment. The multitude of stars look down on them and shine brighter than ever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So the next chapter is actually the Epilogue, aka what happens after. Thank you all so much for reading, it's been so great to read your comments and I appreciate all the kudos! :D


	8. Epilogue: Six Years On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue to the story, where the boys are finally together and happy :)

New memorial gardens adorn the base of the statue in the memorial park for Allura. The sun shines brightly over the people who walk around and pay their respects. Although the huge crowds that used to gather have lessened somewhat, there is still genuine appreciation and recollection of Allura on her remembrance day.

A sweet and relatively short speech is delivered by Coran and it strikes all the right notes. The other Paladins are gathered together nearby. When Lance arrived with Keith a few hours earlier, Keith asked Lance if he was ready to have the Altean population aware of their new relationship. Lance squeezed Keith’s hand in reassurance. “Keith, for the last time, yes. This is what I want. _You_ are what I want.” 

Keith still couldn’t quite believe the events of the last couple of months since they left the planet Volnicura (after several days of really not leaving the cabin). The first stop they made was to visit Keith’s mom whose nonchalant reaction to their relationship was a relieved “ _Finally!_ ” before hugging both of them. Their next stop was Earth, where Keith spent time with Lance’s family who were very glad to see him again and only too happy for him to be a part of their family officially. Keith and Lance were still deciding where they would spend their time. Keith often had work with the organization that took him to far places but as long as he had Lance to always come back to, that was all that mattered. 

As for telling the other Paladins… Keith originally wanted to just lay the bombshell in the group chat, something like “oh yeah, we’re boyfriends now.” Lance berated him and said they at least owed everyone a video chat. So, one day across galaxies and various transmissions (Hunk mid-flight during a delivery, Pidge in her PJ’s rubbing at her eyes under her glasses because it was the equivalent of 3am where she was, and Shiro and Curtis with their dogs on a beach somewhere) Keith and Lance sat before the screen and held their breaths. Lance spoke first, as was previously decided.

“So. As you can see we did not kill each other at our meeting. Thanks again Pidge for the coordinates.” 

Keith interrupted with, “And that is the last and only time you are forgiven for tracking me, Pidge.”

“Hey, it wasn’t completely my idea!” she said, mid-yawn. “We all agreed that we needed a way to get in touch with you in case anything happened. But I did plant it, so you’re welcome.”

“Um, anyway,” Lance continued, trying not to sound nervous. Keith noticed and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and Lance exhaled, more confident now. “So we made up. Obviously. And…” he looked over at Keith. The pride and happiness on his face unable to be contained. 

“We’re boyfriends now!” Keith said, with the biggest smile any of them have ever seen on him. 

A big silence passed over them all until it was broken by a cacophony of voices. First Lance, playfully teased Keith, “Hey, that was my line!” Then Hunk scream-cried, “THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!” while Pidge gesticulated wildly and yelled “God, took you long enough! My statistics program had you guys together negative 8 years ago! It was throwing off all my data!” Shiro and Curtis hugged each other and their dogs (who barked their approval) and Shiro finally said with a big grin on his face, “Congratulations! To both of you. We all loved you individually but now we can love you two as the partners you were meant to be.” 

Keith and Lance profusely thanked them all for helping them figure it out and not letting them stray from each other for too long. Pidge and Hunk began play-arguing over which of them deserved more credit (“But I planted the tracker!” “But I kept that drawing of Allura’s wedding toppers all this time!”)

Lance explained that he would have a private conversation with Coran over it. He was almost sure he would approve but on the off-chance that the memory of Allura swayed him, he wanted to be prepared to take the heat. Keith acquiesced, nervously pacing in another room as the minutes passed. Finally, Lance came back out with tears in his eyes and Keith went over to him and hugged him. Lance said, “He sends his love to both of us and can’t wait to see us at the Castle for the memorial next year.”

Which brings us to the present moment. After Coran’s speech he gives Keith and Lance the strongest hugs he’s ever given them. As an aside, Coran says to Keith, “Looks like you finally did make time, eh?” Keith laughs, remembering that night all those years ago where he snuck away because of the shame he felt for guiltily loving his now-boyfriend, Lance. God, he would _never_ get tired of referring to Lance as his boyfriend. Well, until eventually he calls him his _husband_ but that is something for the future…

They gather in the grand room of the Castle of Lions at the usual post-memorial reception. Local Alteans are eager to speak to the new couple, who they saw holding hands at the memorial. Crazily, one elderly Altean asks when the wedding will be to which Keith and Lance both blush and try to laugh it off. Secretly it’s something that Keith is looking forward to. He tries to imagine a time, maybe a few years from now, when they return to Altea as husband and husband. His daydream is interrupted when he notices that Shiro is next to him and repeating his name. 

“Sorry, Shiro, I think I zoned out.”

Shiro smiles understandably. He sees that Lance is talking to several other people and takes this opportunity to take Keith to a quieter side of the hall to speak to him in private. “I’m really so happy for you, Keith. It feels like I’m finally seeing the full version of you.”

Keith blushes a bit. “Thanks. Honestly, it all still feels a bit surreal to me.”

Shiro nods. “It took a brave first step from you though. I’ll never forget Lance telling me that you said you loved him. That took some courage.”

“Yeah.... but I feel so dumb for not saying anything earlier. I could have saved so many headaches and --”

“Hey, don’t think that way,” Shiro says, his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Everything is meant to happen when it happens. The important thing is that you’re both together now. I’m only sorry Allura isn’t alive to see it.”

Keith frowns. “But Shiro, if Allura was alive, she’d be with Lance. She was his true love, after all.”

Shiro looks past Keith. “Do you see the way he’s looking at you right now?”

Keith doesn’t understand but he turns around and spots Lance in the distance. Like a miracle their eyes meet and Lance smiles at him, his blue eyes shining.

Shiro squeezes Keith’s shoulder to bring him back to him. “Don’t question it. She may have been his first love but you are his true love. This is the best thing to ever happen to both of you.” Shiro gives Keith a warm hug before walking away. Lance comes over when a slow song begins playing. 

“Shall we?”

They dance together. Keith can’t help but notice small flashes going off around them and wonders who is taking photos. But then Lance kisses him softly on the lips and everything else fades. They might as well be slow-dancing on Earth’s moon, everything else seems to melt away. When Lance pulls away, he looks at Keith and asks, “Hey, what are you thinking right now?”

“I honestly don’t think when I’m around you,” Keith answers, a lovestruck look in his eyes. Lance laughs and presses him closer.

“Wanna know what I’m thinking? How much I love you, Keith. That’s what I’m thinking right now.”

Keith’s heart feels like it doubles in size. Will he ever stop feeling like a teenager with an obsessive crush? He whispers another “I love you,” to his boyfriend Lance, one of the probably hundreds he’s already said to him since that time on the mountain. Lance smells so good up close. How does he always smell so good? 

“Actually, maybe I do have a thought right now.”

“Oh? What could that be?”

“Me and you saying our good nights to everyone and leaving early because we are very, _very_ tired.”

“Hmm, that sounds a bit like a ruse, Keith. I wonder what you have in mind for us when we’re alone...” And Keith whispers exactly what he wants to do into Lance’s ear and it’s reminiscent of an activity they did on Keith’s mountain cabin and Lance actually blushes.

“Wow, okay,” Lance manages and Keith can’t help the victory he feels in actually shutting his boyfriend up. The slow song ends and an upbeat number comes on which all the other Paladins join in on and start dancing to. Keith and Lance laugh and dance with them for a bit before they do finally say their goodbyes and good nights. They walk off the dance floor holding hands, looking forward to the night and the many more days and nights that await them both.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! It feels great to get back into writing and I hope to improve as a writer with every new fic I write. Perhaps my next work will not be as angsty? Haha, anyway thanks again!


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